Apartment People

Our apartment complex has been undergoing some extensive cosmetic remodeling - new paint, newly refurbished pool and gameroom, new blinds, etc. Today the office threw a big pool party to celebrate their new level of coolness, so we decided to join the fun.

After observing the people who joined us at the pool, I've decided there are 5 types of people who live in apartments.

1. The young single professional - These are the skinny/wannabe skinny people who dress in string bikinis and think it's appropriate to untie their swimsuit tops at a family event. After all, they would simply DIE if they got a tan line across their back. They do, however, tie it back up occasionally so they can sit up and have a smoke and a beer.

2. The wannabe young single professional, but really old as dirt - These are the middle-aged people who try to be just as deeply tanned and inappropriately dressed as their younger version and they come with the same required beer and cigarettes. They just don't have youth as an excuse anymore.

3. The wannabe young single professional, but really old as dirt and had to bring the kids - These are the middle-aged people who are trying to relive the "before I got married and had kids" glory days. They are deeply tanned, inappropriately dressed, have the required cigarettes and beer, have the trophy boyfriend/girlfriend in the chair beside them, and let the kids run wild.

4. The old folks - These are the older men and women who gave up the house for the lesser upkeep of an apartment. They are fully dressed and sitting around the pool chatting with the other older residents and just enjoying the companionship.

5. The young families who are in transition from one house to another - These are the couples with young children who are waiting for a house to be built or they've moved into the area from another part of the country so they've waited to get here before buying a house. These stay for about 6 months, then disappear inside of a big moving truck.

And then there's us. And we don't really fit in any of those categories. We're the "Tired of being house poor, mowing a huge lawn that's a big hill that we can't really use, cleaning a huge house when we don't need that much space, shelling out the big bucks every time something breaks or a big job needs to be done with specialized equipment we don't own, so we decided to chuck it all and move into an apartment so we can get back to being debt-free and not feel like our house owns us" people.

There aren't many of us out there, but there should be. Cause we like it just fine. Especially the pool.