Tuesday, September 16, 2008

An interview with Bad Mommy and Good Mommy

Host: Welcome! And thank you for joining us for today's segment where we will be interviewing two well-known celebrities. You see them all the time on the street, in the store, in the mirror, and are constantly hearing stories about the horrifying antics of one and the heroic efforts of the other. These women are known respectively as Bad Mommy and Good Mommy.

Our first guest is Bad Mommy. Thank you so much for agreeing to be on our show today. Of course, it looks like it came as a bit of surprise to you...

Bad Mommy: Yes, sorry, it was on of those mornings where nothing was going right. I had a million things to do and I just jumped right out of the shower into my day so I didn't get a chance to fix my hair or dress up or anything like that.

Host: Those mornings can be rough. Anything in particular happen this morning?

Bad Mommy: No, not really. I was up late talking to my brother on the phone and so I overslept and just got a late start on the day. Then there was today's housework plus yesterday's to do since we were out all day yesterday.

Host: How do the kids handle that kind of busyness?

Bad Mommy: Not well at all. They seem to have a talent for asking for something the second I get busy with another chore and it ends up with all of us grumpy.

Host: I heard that there was a bit of excitement at lunch. Can you tell us what happened?

Bad Mommy: Well, yeah, about that. You see, we moved into our new home a couple of weeks ago and we now have a flat cooktop that looks very much like the rest of our countertop as both are black and shiny. I had fried up some Spam for lunch because we were out of almost everything else that was easy to make when my youngest wandered into the kitchen. She asked what was in the oven and leaned over to look in the oven window, putting her hand on the stovetop. She ended up burning all four fingers and most of her palm. She didn't cry, so I figured it was minor and didn't worry about it too much.

Host: Ouch! Is she okay?

Bad Mommy: Oh, yeah. It's a minor burn and she'll recover. It wasn't the most pleasant way to learn that lesson, but I promise she won't touch the stove again.

Host: Thank you again for coming by, Bad Mommy. We'll let you get back to your housework and your children. Stop at the door and they'll be glad to loan you an umbrella as I see you forgot yours. No problem, thanks again!

And now let's welcome Good Mommy! Thank you so much for coming out for our show in this weather, but I see you came prepared with a big umbrella.

Good Mommy: Oh yes! I keep it in the car just for days like today.

Host: It's a bit odd, now that I see you in person. You look surprisingly like our last guest, Bad Mommy. Really, the resemblance is astonishing...

Good Mommy: I've heard that before, but honestly you wouldn't have any trouble telling us apart if you saw us in action.

Host: Now I assume you were watching our interview with Bad Mommy from backstage. Any comments?

Good Mommy: Gracious! That poor child! Burns are one of the most common household injuries and they're very painful.

Host: What would you have done differently?

Good Mommy: First, she should have sat down with both her children before they moved in and explained the concept of a flat-top stove. It's really interesting how they work, you know. We would have gone to the kitchen and turned it on for just a few seconds, then touched the slightly warm surface so they get a hands-on experience with how the surface heats very quickly and how it remains hot even when there's no pan on the stove. We would have talked about the red warning light and played a game so the concept is transferred from short-term memory to long-term memory through repetition.

Host: Wow, that's a very thorough plan to avoid burns from the stove.

Good Mommy: Precisely. An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure, as they say.

Host: And it sounds like you have more than an ounce to offer. Now, like Bad Mommy, you are also not looking as put-together as usual. Was it a difficult morning at your house as well?

Good Mommy: Of course not! We never have bad mornings. Like Bad Mommy, I also had a lot of housework that I wanted to do today and I didn't plan to leave the house so my hair and clothes are appropriate for my plans today.

Host: Of course, your plans changed.

Good Mommy: Well yes, they did. About 30 minutes after my daughter burned her hand on the stove, she came to me crying that it hurt. I inspected her hand and parts had turned pink, but there were only two tiny spots that might eventually blister, so I just had her put her hand in cool water. When the crying persisted and she said it hurt worse, I immediately dropped what I was doing and bundled both the girls in the car for a trip to the store to find some burn cream. Yes, I did worry for a moment that my hair wasn't fixed and I wasn't dressed for the cooler weather, but I decided that my daughter's discomfort was more important. I did find some Solarcaine at the store and have been liberally applying it since so that she seems to feel better.

Host: Your daughter? But I thought it was Bad Mommy's daughter that burned her hand. I don't understand.

Good Mommy: Oh wait! Did I say "my" daughter? Of course, that's silly...I would never...I mean...uh...I have to get home now...ummm...thanks for inviting me...goodbye!


Heather said...

How very creative writing!
I hope Ms. Lydia is OK. Sort of a delayed reaction on the burn, wasn't it?

Valerie said...

One of those kind of days eh? I hope your daughter is okay.

I have an alter ego too, Hubs calls her Super Grouch. Yes, I admit it. Sometimes she here more than she isn't.

Hope tomorrow is better for ya.