Keeping it low-key

This morning I'm sitting in Starbucks celebrating a personal victory. I think my body is starting to get used to this 7am alarm life and I woke up before my alarm. I brushed my teeth, got dressed, and realized I hadn't heard any noise from the small one who had said she was going to set her alarm early so she could make a hot lunch to pack. I had heard something about the time I got up, but nothing since. When I yelled (quietly) upstairs, she popped her little bleary eyes over the stair wall and croaked that she'd be ready in a minute. Considering we had 7 minutes until it was time to leave and she had just rolled out of bed, I helped her with her lunch and I put the last couple of things in her backpack. We finally walked out the door only to discover that the one pair of shoes L has that fit and aren't flip-flops weren't on the shoe shelves in the garage. She disappeared back inside to look and I waited. And waited. And waited. Then I just called our carpool to say we'd be driving ourselves. We were 10 minutes after when we should've left, L still hadn't found her shoes, and I actually thought to make the best stress-free decision instead of my usual freaking out and making both of us miserable. So we kept our cool and Lydia remembered where she had put those darn shoes. I just told her she would now be setting her alarm 15 minutes earlier and resisted the urge to lecture. We made it to school in plenty of time and I got to stop at the cheap place for gas. Total win all around and definitely deserves a little Starbucks.

I think I've got this all wrong

The small(er) one is off at school on Tuesdays and Thursdays now, which leaves me and (sometimes) hubby and the big(ger) one at home alone those days. Speaking of the smaller and bigger ones, L has grown tall for her 9-year-old self. No short Asians around here! And K hasn't grown much at all in the past year, which makes me think she might actually be done at 5'7 1/2". Which probably means that both of my children will always be shorter than me. Back to the Tuesday/Thursday thing. On Tuesday, I dropped L off for her carpool and then took myself to breakfast where I relaxed and wrote the previous blog post. I stopped and got groceries and spent the rest of the morning puttering around my kitchen where I made dinner and listened to music. While K was holed up in her room doing her schoolwork, I read a magazine and did my nails and just generally had a fabulous, relaxing day. Yep, this is the life, I thought, and I was already looking forward to Thursday. Today, I again woke up and took L to meet her carpool, then I came home and got right to work. Hubby was working from the office, so K and I created a playlist for the Sonos system and we rocked out to loud music while she did schoolwork and I painted the upstairs. For some reason, I just can't leave well enough alone. Instead of more relaxation and "me time", I decided yesterday that it was the perfect time to get around to that big painting project I had been planning all summer. The paint was waiting in the garage, the walls were looking dirtier than ever, and I actually had the time and energy and *need* to get it done. So out came the blue tape and the paintbrush and I got part of the hallway done last night - all the little walls around door frames that are ALL cutting in. And then this was my day today. - Prep and paint the larger hallway walls. - Look at the loft and decide to just keep going. - Move the TV and video game paraphernalia. - Prep and paint the half wall in the loft. - Decide that it's the perfect time to move the computer cabinet since hubby's not home to need wifi. - Move the computer cabinet. - Paint the wall behind the computer cabinet. - Well, I already have the roller out, so I should get as much of the window wall as possible without moving the couch. - Take down the blinds. - Prep and paint around the window and get most of that wall. - Get a text asking if I can pick up a friend's daughter. - Clean up and get in the car. - Grab quick lunch with really large drinks (painting and schoolwork is thirsty work!) - Pick up new paint color and more supplies. - Pick up L from school. - Pick up friend's daughter from summer camp. - Race home to change girls for afternoon activities. - Jump back in the car and go pick up another girl. - Deliver big girls to volleyball. (Other grandmother brought them home afterward.) - Go pick up yet another girl. - Deliver last 3 girls to dance. - Chat with moms during their short class. - Pick up Chinese on the way home. - Eat in blissful aloneness while the girls take their food to their rooms for their own downtime. - Go back upstairs and pull up all the blue tape and put the outlet and switch covers back on. - Vacuum where the furniture was and find lots of "lost" items. - Put all the furniture back against the freshly painted walls. - Pull all the furniture away from the last wall and a half left to be painted. - Decide that those last walls can wait until tomorrow! I guess I'm just not a sit and relax and be a lady of leisure type. Even hubby points out periodically that I have to *something* going on all the time. At least this something is useful and productive and will have the long-lasting effect of creating a lovely space for our family to hang out. And I love to paint, so it's a win all around. Then next week when I'm done, I'll take another relaxation day, then I'll probably be looking for another project.

Being late

At 7:50 this morning, I dropped my youngest child off for carpool. Ok, fine, it was actually 7:51. I was ready in plenty of time. We even left in plenty of time. The problem was that everyone else in the area was also on the roads at that hour and traffic was Stacked Up all the way to my friend's house. I hereby pinky promise to leave the house at least 5 minutes earlier for carpool from now on. I hate to be late. I hate the rushing and anxiety I feel. I hate how grumpy I get with everyone who causes the smallest imaginary delay. I hate finally screeching into the parking lot and rushing through the door. I hate seeing anyone having to sit and wait on me. Do you realize how rude it is to keep someone waiting on you? What you have just said with your actions is, "My time and my desires are far more valuable than yours. You are not a priority in my life and you and your needs are not important to me. My promises to you mean less than an extra 10 minutes reading Facebook." Would you ever say that out loud to someone's face? I can't imagine anyone who would! But your actions speak louder than words. Now, people are usually incredibly gracious. No problem, they say. Things happen, they agree with a smile. I love that my friends are generous and forgiving on the (hopefully) rare occasion that I'm late to something. I find myself extending the same grace to others because I understand that sometimes traffic is bad or a child needs something important just as you're trying to leave. I truly don't mind waiting a few minutes. It's really just the people who are *always* late that test my patience. I know a number of people who are chronically late to everything. Everyone knows to add at least 10 (or 20 or 30) minutes to whatever time they said they would be there. They come breezing in with a smile, exclaiming "Oh, you know me! Always late!" as if it were some badge of honor or cute personality quirk. They get angry if you have started an activity without them or they make you derail and spend several minutes catching them up on what they missed. It is the ultimate example of selfishness. Now when people poke fun at me for being early to things (and it happens), I just smile. Yes, I'd rather leave 20 minutes early and have to sit in a parking lot reading, waiting until it's a decent time to go inside than run the risk of being 5 minutes late. When I pickup a friend's daughter for school, I make sure to give myself plenty of time to make the left turn out of my neighborhood through heavy morning traffic. I set my alarm early and have taught my children to get up and moving and be ready to go when I say it's time to go. There have been times in my life that I have set my clocks ahead a few minutes to trick myself into getting out of the house in time. I remind myself that being on time is showing respect. So next time you're meeting a friend for a movie or getting ready to herd your family to church, set an early alarm and give yourself plenty of time to get everything and everyone ready and out the door. Heck, set several alarms - one to get up, one 15 minute warning, one to get out the door, whatever it takes. Wouldn't it be nice to have a stress-free morning and get to school with everyone still smiling? To walk into Starbucks without having to apologize and explain why you're late again? Thursday when my alarm goes off again and I have to drive my youngest to her carpool, I'll have already packed her backpack and her lunch and reminded her of the dress code. We'll have located her shoes and we'll be ready to jump in the car at 7:30, just in case we have to wait even longer to make that left hand turn.

These are my people

It's August and summer has flown by. School training and orientation classes have happened and now we're just waiting until the first carpool on Monday to get the official start to the new year. Training was very different this year than last. Last year it was the high-level *why* of Christian classical education. This year more time was spent on the nuts and bolts of how to survive in this particular Christian classical school. I see the value behind the theory stuff, but I'm more of a nuts and bolts, practical person, so I liked this year's training much better. There was also the distinct advantage of not being new anymore. I knew some of the other parents and most of the staff. I had an understanding of the ins and outs of how the school worked and felt much more comfortable this time around. Yesterday was my first time attending the elementary sessions and I'm a little worried about how *much* I'm going to have to do on L's home days. But it'll be great and if I just keep telling myself that, then it will be. Today was the secondary training and all the upper school kids came. The campus buzzed with the energy of 80-something teenagers who hadn't seen each other ALL SUMMER. Or at least since Tuesday night's volleyball dinner. K immediately disappeared into the crowd and I caught a few glimpses of her throughout the morning, immersed in a gaggle of her "besties". At lunchtime, she found me long enough to ask for the keys so she could get her bags for tonight's student retreat. Let me back up a bit here and tell you a little of what this week has been like. Both the girls have had commitments every day this week. It's a big dance week with team tryouts and rehearsals, so L has been at the studio everyday. K had student council and volleyball stuff and tonight's retreat. Add 2 days full of school orientation and my calendar looks like a spider web of who has to be where when. And did I mention that hubby had a fun opportunity and went out of town with his brother? I've been juggling everyone's schedules and it became clear to me early on that I couldn't handle the logistics of it by myself. The best part is when I realized that I don't have to do it all. Over the past few years, I've found a community of people who are happy to come alongside my family and lend a hand. The last 2 days, I dropped L off with a friend in the morning who gave her a ride to dance. K rode to the retreat today with a friend whose mom ended up taking 6 girls. Another mom friend is bringing them all back to school and yet another mom friend is bringing K home for me. When the last mom friend texted me tonight offering to bring K home tomorrow, I almost said no because I *could* go get her. I don't have anywhere else I have to be at that time and I didn't want to take advantage of this friend. Then I smacked myself over the head and texted back that it would be great if she could bring K home. She is going to be there to pick up her own kids and she lives just up the street. We trade rides for the girls all the time and it's not like either of us keep score as to who drives more often. I realized that I just felt like *I* have to be the one to do everything. I mean they're my kids and I do like sitting in the car after an event and talking about it with them. It's just that the whole trying to be Supermom is exhausting and quickly burns me out. Somehow I've managed to build a network of mom friends who are great at helping each other out, not just during emergency scheduling conflicts, but when it simply makes our lives easier. Like rides to or from dance just because it's easier to not get the little kids out after baths or it saves 15 minutes on the commute. The funny thing is, I didn't do it intentionally. It was a series of small gestures over the past few years. I've taken the time to get to know my girls' friends and their moms. I've offered to help others when I could and swallowed my pride enough to ask them for help when I need it. Suddenly today, I looked up and realized that I have a support network that's bigger than I ever thought. And that's a beautiful thing. So as this school year continues, I need to remember that I do have help and we can make everyone's lives easier if we lend each other a helping hand. I don't have to be the one driving to every away game (and K probably won't end up in therapy if she doesn't have a parent at every single game). I can arrange some carpooling with nearby dance friends just to make the rehearsal schedules more practical for all of us. I think that's one practical effort that will payoff nicely in the end.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

There's a gentle breeze that causes the leaves to dance overhead. It's pleasant sitting here in the shade, watching the people pass by. There are kids dressed in leotards and tae kwon do uniforms that skip blithely across the street. There are quieter ones toting books to the tutoring center or hauling guitar cases as big as themselves up the stairs to the music place while someone bangs out a complicated rhythm on a drum set that can be heard through the open window. Women carry yoga mats or cupcakes and sometimes both. Friends laugh sitting around the many tables set outside of the various cafes. Whether you're in the mood for tapas and martinis or a British pub, you can find it here. I love this little neighborhood marketplace. It's an island of peace and refreshment in my otherwise busy days. School is finally, officially over for the year. Today I picked up Kate from her last day of middle school. The experiment that was university-model private school was a resounding success. She had a full and fantastic year where she wove herself seamlessly into school life with its friends and sports and academics and clubs and events. She loved it and is a little sad that she won't have her friends and her schedule for a couple of months. When she goes back, she'll be a high schooler, but thankfully at her little school there's not much difference between middle school and high school. On their class days, there's only 7th through 12th grade on campus and they all just hang out together during breaks. In fact, we loved our little school so much that Lydia is starting 4th grade there next fall on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She also had a good year, but she needs to branch out a bit from me. She's still highly attached and I think it will help her to have a little more independence. We're spending the summer catching her up to the math program they use, but she's so excited to go to school that she's already got a good start on her summer reading and math packet. Tomorrow starts our official summer and we're kicking it off with a quick trip to Great Wolf Lodge with friends, then camping for the weekend, then dance and volleyball camp and China Camp and Texas and training for school. We'll fill in the chinks with bowling and Carowinds and before you know it, school will start again. In the meantime, I'll sieze the occasional moment to come sit in this little marketplace and find some peace.

How to be the most awesome mom on the block

Suppose you have 6 young children in your house. Unexpected children that somehow ended up there. Restless children who have tired of old dance costumes and loud music and are now trying to (destroy the house) find something else to do. Now you have to think of some organized activity to save your sanity and your stuff. Here's how to make them think you're the most awesome mom ever. You need a supply of pint-sized, regular mouth mason jars and a blender. Go to your fridge and pull out the milk and all the ice cream toppings you can find. We had chocolate, caramel, and marshmallow toppings. I also pulled out the orange juice and frozen fruit, but they were completely ignored. Give each child a jar and have them fill it up about 1/2 full with ice, 3/4 full with milk, then they can add whatever of the toppings they want. Screw the blade attachment onto the mouth of the jar. (Did you know that most blenders will fit perfectly onto a regular mouth mason jar?) Flip it over onto the blender and and blend it into a jar of creamy goodness. Remove the blade assembly, put a straw in it, and hand it to the amazed and delighted child. This activity will take up about 10 minutes. After which they will go back to the chaos of before, but at least you can console yourself with the fact that you have a reputation as most awesome mom ever.

Busiest. Summer. Ever.

3 months ago, we finished up our school year.

This Monday we started our new school year and I finally have time to breathe again.

Most people consider summer to be a vacation. A time of relaxation and family fun. Well, we had plenty of family fun, but I missed out on much of that relaxation part. I ran our church VBS, my family came to visit and we went to visit family, we went to China Camp in Oklahoma and dance nationals at the beach, lots of administration changes at church to help with and training at K's new school and dance try-outs and rehearsals and there's a whole year of third grade that had to be planned. Whew!

This week is the first time all summer I've actually stayed home long enough to finish all the laundry in one stretch. I cleaned out school books and papers from last year and have been slowly working on our school space for this year. I know, we already started school, but the space is still a work in progress. Hopefully by Friday it'll all be finished and we can feel settled.

School is...an adventure this year. We're entering our 7th year and no two years have ever looked alike. That's kinda the nice thing about homeschooling; there's freedom to adapt as needed to meet the different needs as they crop up. K wanted more interaction and I didn't want to teach Pre-algebra, so she's attending a university model classical Christian school. It's a small school with a very informal, student-led feel and they get to work from home two days a week. They also have a ton of extra-curricular opportunities. For example, K is playing volleyball this fall and the whole upper school is going on an overnight retreat tomorrow after classes. So far, it seems to be a great fit for K, but rather time-demanding. Hopefully, we'll get into the groove soon and things will flow well.

L is staying home for school this year. She's both excited and grumpy about this. She wishes she could go to school like K, but she's happy to get all the attention from mom. The promise of classes at our local nature center also made the homeschool choice more enticing, as she loves their programs. Our greatest challenge will be getting past her attitude of "needing" help with everything if I'm available. That and the fact that 3rd grade requires a whole lot of reading, which is not her strongest suit. So far I've only had to send her to her room to get hold of herself once a day and I think we can avoid even that if I force her to take a break. She'd rather work straight through and get school done, but she starts to lose it toward the end.

Now that summer is over and school has started, I'm planning to take some time to breathe. And maybe clean the bathrooms. It's sad when cleaning bathrooms is starting to look appealing, but it's a sign that life is settling back into a routine and I dearly need some routine in my life.